Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I am happy to report that I am officially in the middle of my treatments. 8 down and 8 to go!!! So I ask that all of you play the below video at the very top of your speakers and sing nice and loud with me!!! This song has a very special meaning to me and my family and right now feels like a really good time to sing it!!! Lets do this!!!
Love, Love, Love!!!
As of late I feel like my mind has been all over the place. From trying to find a job, and kicking the sh*t out of cancer and missing my sister to what do I feel like doing today and what do I HAVE to do today. But as usual the cancer issue is what weighs heaviest on my mind.
Lately I have been going HERE to watch inspirational videos from people in all different stages of their fight with cancer. “Voices of Survivors” was started by Lynn Lane, a documentary filmmaker and a ‘survivor’ himself. Lynn has begun an online documenting series where he video tapes cancer survivors in different stages of their fight in order to show all the faces of cancer. In his short clips the person tells of their cancer, their treatment and where they are in their fight as well as their hobbies. Each video ends with the survivor telling us what the word survivor means to them.
Now I always cry when I watch these. It amazes me how much I cry now, but I sit in front of my computer and cry in complete awe of the strength and beauty of each of these survivors. And today I decided I wanted to define the word survivor as to what it means to me.
Webster’s dictionary defines survivor as, 1. to remain alive or in existence: live on and 2. to continue to function or prosper.
My definition of a survivor runs pretty closely to the 2nd definition that Mr. Webster has given us. To me a survivor is someone who is able to withstand. A person that no matter how dark the days get or how low and crummy they feel, or how horrible and bleak things are and no matter how many times they feel like giving up there is a part of them, no matter how big or small, that just won’t ever give in. Because they have sat and seen what more life has in store for them and they are determined to live that life. And even when they are having the worst day of their life they are still able to find at least one good thing about that day, smile and be thankful. A survivor is that lone tree that is still standing after a Stage 5 Hurricane has blown through and destroyed everything else in its path. A survivor is someone who can withstand even if they are told that they will not beat their disease because they still live on making each moment count.
And that is what I am. I am a SURVIVOR!!! And yes, I believe my sister is a survivor too.
Yes I have my bad days. I have days when I hide away and cry and yell and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I have days I ignore phone calls and emails and wonder why the hell this happened to me. I was having my breasts removed prophylacticly so I would never have to go through this but in the end it didn’t matter because I still got cancer. I have days that I’m angry because I want to be working and in my own place and planning a wedding and thinking about having a family like many of my friends. Instead I am worrying about my mortality and watching my eyelashes fall out and watching my family’s heartbreak. I want to throw my hair up in a pony tail and lie on a beach, go for hike or kick around a soccer ball. I want my life back!!!!
But each day I make a point to find something good. It could be the way the sun warms my skin, or eating my favorite food (even if it tastes like metal right now because of the chemo) to seeing someone I love laugh or getting a really good hug from someone who loves me. I know that no matter how dark my days get that this is not the end. I know that there is so much more ahead for me in life. I can feel it in my bones. I know I am meant for great things. And I have every intention of getting there. My path may not have been the easiest. And I know others have had it worse. But this is the path I have been given. This is my journey and you can damn well be sure that my life’s journey is going to be a long one and there is beauty and happiness, success and all my dreams coming true right over that hill!
I am a SURVIOR!!!!
Now, what does survivor mean to you?
Love, Love, Love!
Let me begin by saying, how beautiful was it this past weekend? I mean it truly was just gorgeous. Even with the crazy storm that blew through on Sunday night!
So this Memorial Day weekend I spent in NJ with my nephew JP and Bryce. Jeff went to Greece for a week and my family and friends of ours offered up our time to watch JP for him so that he could go on this excursion. Jeff needs this trip badly so it was easy for us to figure out how to make it work.
Early Saturday morning Bryce and I got up and headed down to NJ to relieve my brother in law, Mark, who watched JP on Friday night. The weather was just amazing, the sky was blue, the sun was hot and I can’t stand to be inside to long during those types of days. So JP and I went outside where he taught me how to play LAX. I must say I’m a total natural at the sport! We ran around the large yard, played on the jungle gym and tossed the ball around but soon a neighbor friend called JP over for a swim and BBQ at a family friend’s house. Who am I to tell the kid no? So I let him go and I made my way back into the house.
As I wandered the house things started to hit me. I was in Tracy’s house and there was no Tracy. It felt wrong. It felt empty and soon I was fighting back the tears. As Bryce sat trying to learn how to flash his car I made my way up to Tracy and Jeff’s room. I sat in her room and looked at her pictures and cried and missed her. I wandered into her closet smelling her clothes to see if her scent still lingered. When I realized it didn’t, I got even more upset. I went from room to room in the house just staring at nothing in particular, and thinking of her. When I made my way back down stairs and took up residence on the couch, Bryce looked up and gave me a funny look. He knew something was up but I didn’t want to get into it and get more upset. But he persisted and finally I let loose and cried. He gave me a reassuring hug and told me to “come cuddle” and I was soon able to fall into a nice nap.
Around 9:30, JP made his way home and after he changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, he came to snuggle with me on the couch. While the 3 of us lay sprawled out on the couch I rubbed JP’s back and hair until he was passed out. Of course I didn’t want to wake him so I picked him and carried him upstairs while Bryce flicked on lights so I could see. Now what broke my heart was what happened when I picked JP up. As soon as he wrapped his arms around my neck he squeezed really tight and burrowed his head in my neck. I had to stop and fight back more tears. I gave him a squeeze, laid him in bed, kissed him good night and went back downstairs. Again I began to cry. It breaks my heart. I know Jeff now has to be a mom AND dad to JP and I know he is doing an amazing job but I’m sure JP misses that Mommy or woman touch. He used to snuggle on the couch with Tracy all the time, and it made me wonder if while he was doing that with me it might have made him miss her more. Was he able to pretend it was her holding him instead of me? I really hope I was able to give him some comfort. Because, in all honesty, what more can I do? There is NOTHING any of us can do but comfort him and love him as best we can. When all I really want to do is take his pain away and bring back his mommy.
After a sleepless night I woke to find JP already up and feeding the dogs. We made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and planned out our day. We went to the grocery store to get some supplies, bought a gift for his friend’s bday, had MC D’s for lunch and then headed back to the house for more time outside and then more time in the neighbor’s pool. Around 6pm my lovely friend Sarah arrived. She is going to be watching JP from Monday night to Friday but she came over a day early so that she and I could hang out and spend time together as well. It was so nice to be around her. Laughing and talking in silly accents and just enjoying her company.
I made pizza for dinner that night and we watched an amazing storm blow through. The rain was insanity. Sarah swore she saw Noah’s ark float by and I watched the lighting out the window. I love mega storms like that. Especially when you have good people around you to enjoy them with.
On Monday Sarah and I woke up nice and early to make the boys breakfast. Sarah made yummy scrambled eggs, I made kick ass chocolate chip pancakes and we teamed up to make some very crispy bacon. It was so beautiful out that we decided to eat outside on the patio to start the day off right. We knew it would have been what Tracy would have wanted us to do. She loved enjoying those gorgeous days sitting out on her back patio relaxing, sipping a glass of wine and just soaking in the beauty of the day. I guess you can say we did it as a tribute to her. After breakfast we all headed to a neat little State Park in Clinton, NJ. We wandered around and walked along the beach, did some people watching and watched JP climb trees higher then his father probably would have liked. Around 2 we headed home to have lunch and unwind.
Our good friends Jo and Joel called asking us to come over for a BBQ that night at their place. Since Bryce and I had to head back home that night we figured it would be a nice way to end the weekend. Joel grilled up some burgers and Kielbasa while Jo played the part of a very lovely hostess. Sitting on their deck, eating good food, enjoying the weather and having good conversation was a really great way to end the weekend. Bryce ended the weekend with a ride in Joel’s ‘vet so I know he was happy.
We hugged and kissed Sarah and JP goodbye and headed home where we promptly passed out as soon as our heads hit the pillows. All in all it was a really nice weekend. It had its tough moments when I thought my heart was never going to stop aching from the pain but it soon subsided and the weekend went on.
Today was a tougher day for me. I don’t know if it was the shift in the weather, hearing about another death of a friend’s mom due to breast cancer or just knowing that I have to go back to chemo this week after feeling “normal” the past week. I guess what I can look forward to is that after this next treatment I will only have 8 more to go. I will be at the halfway mark. The Middle… everyone sing with me now….
“It just takes some time, little girl. You’re in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright, alright!”
Love, Love, Love!
Last night I had a hot date. I had a hot date with a tall, blue eyed, blonde man. Last night I had a hot date with my brother in law, Jeff. Our date was to New Jersey In Living Pink. This was our first year going without Tracy. Driving to the event I felt anxiety over everything from the way I looked with my bald head, to seeing people I haven’t seen since Tracy’s funeral, to wondering if I would be strong enough to keep it together to be supportive for Jeff. In the end all my anxiety was for nothing. The night was emotionally draining but there were so many friends there taking care of us. I’m so happy I went. The ladies of the YSC have always been incredibly supportive, kind and like family to us. And last night was no exception. There were so many people there who loved Tracy and us, and they all made sure to let us know it.
One of the hardest parts of the night was running into Lisa Muccilo’s parents. It will be 6 years this August that we lost Lisa Her parents and family have continued to play an incredibly active part in the breast cancer community. My family and I have seen them and spent time with them at quite a few events over the last several years but this would be the first time seeing them since Tracy passed. Mrs. Muccilo was very kind and warm to Jeff and I, hugging us and giving us her condolences. I know Jeff was happy to see her and was looking forward to seeing Mr. Muccilo. Mr. Muccilo is a man with a very quiet strength. And like my father he loves and adores his children. When one of their children is hurting or in pain and they can’t do anything to make it better it breaks them apart. Mr. Muccilo came over to talk to Jeff and me but as soon as he sat down next to me I saw the tears forming in his eyes. He hugged me and kissed me and told me how much he thought of Tracy. And then the man broke my heart. He started to cry a bit and kept telling me that I was going to be ok and he just knew I was going to be ok because of all the women I had up above fighting for me, like Lisa and Tracy. Now, aside from him saying such kind things to me it tore me up to see him cry so I began to cry too. I was crying for his pain, for mine, for Jeff’s, for my whole family, for Lisa’s whole family for everyone affected by this disease. Lisa’s mom said that even though it has been almost 6 years there is still and will always be a little hole in your heart that will never heal. And I know that to be true. I don’t think that hole in any of our hearts will ever fully heal. Not a day will go by when we won’t think of Tracy, or miss her, or wish she was with us. The past few nights I’ve sat in bed wishing I could hug her one more time. Just one more.
The women of the YSC NJ Chapter really put on an amazing event. Though there were feelings of loss and sadness there was also a great deal of hope and strength in the room. To have so many people there supporting women and families like mine is very humbling. Because of people, like Lisa, Joy and Jeff I walked into that event with my bald head on display. I felt a little bit like awkward but that was only because I was THE ONLY woman in there with a bald head. Can you believe it? At a breast cancer event I was the only one! And though I felt nervous and a bit uncomfortable at times I knew I was in a place where I was supported, bald head, tears, smiles and all.
I don’t know how good of a date I was for Jeff. As I said before I wanted to be there for him knowing that this was going to be a bit tough for him. But Jeff is a strong guy. I know he had a few rough moments but I think he did an amazing job. Jeff and I even laughed at a few memories that him and I shared about Tracy. We also happily bid against one another for a very cool prize which we both lost. I know we are both happy we went.
On another topic, I learned about THIS yesterday. To say that I am left speechless would be an absolute understatement. I can not imagine the feelings that are running through that child’s head, along with her family. And even with her fears and confusion at how this could have possibly happened, Hannah has shown herself to be an amazingly strong young girl. A true fighter. She has shown strength that women my age and twice it sometimes do not have. I am truly getting sick and tired of breast cancer. The devastation, the confusion, the heart break, even the pink! No young woman should have to deal with everything that comes with this disease. And even more so, no 10 year old child should EVER have to go through a mastectomy and chemotherapy. My heart breaks for Hannah and her family. I ask that all of you keep Hannah and her family in your thoughts and prayers.
Lastly, today is the 3 month Anniversary of Tracy’s death. I woke up today at 5am. Just 10 minutes from the time that Tracy passed. I’m sure it is evident how much I miss and love my sister. But today, on a beautiful spring day that I know Tracy would have loved, I am going to try and not remember her with sadness. Instead I’m going to remember the good times that she and I shared, the inside jokes we giggled at, and the good moments when breast cancer was far from our minds.
If any of you have any great memories of Tracy to share I would love for you to tell them to me.
Love, Love, Love!!
Yesterday the weather was gorgeous! The sun was brilliant, the sky was blue and the temperature was damn near perfect. It was so nice to just feel the sun kiss my skin! Even if it was Chemo Day.
I have been keeping track of how many treatments I have left and I thought that after yesterday I had 10 more to go. But one of my “chemo buddies” who is on the exact same schedule as me and finishes the same day as me, happily informed me that after yesterday’s session we have entered into single digits. That means I have 9 more session left. Tears started to prick my eyes as I pulled out my planner and started to recount my treatments. 9! Just 9 to go! And after my next session is finished I can then say I am halfway through my treatments! JOY!
I was also pretty stoked to realize that I have this Friday off from chemo. For this regiment I go 3 weeks in a row and then get a week off. Do you have any idea how excited I was when I realized that this upcoming weekend is Memorial Day weekend and that I will be NJ hanging out with my nephew, my dear friend Sara, and Bryce. This means I won’t be feeling all chemoy and I won’t be in any pain from having to take a Neulasta shot! DOUBLE JOY!
One downer from yesterday was that I was told that I am no longer able to skip taking my Neulasta shot after my treatments. My counts came back way to low to their liking. It wasn’t low enough where they wouldn’t give me treatment but low enough that they are making me double up on my shot today to get my counts back in a good range. ::sigh:: Oh well, it is what it is and I do what I’ve got to do.
On a happy note I received a very funny text from my dear friend Anna yesterday while I was at treatment. Her Super Fab Hubby, Brian, sent her flowers at work because I told him how much she loves those types of surprises. However I’m pretty sure he already knew that, LOL. But he signed my name to the card none the less saying that I helped jog his brain a bit. Now the reason why Brain is Super Fab is because he sent me a very lovely surprise as well. Upon returning home from chemo I found a large, beautiful bouquet of flowers, with chocolates that Brain sent to me!!! How great is that! He of course wrote me a lovely note and I shed a few tears. I know I’m loved and thought of and that there are so many amazing and wonderful people in my life who are all rooting for me but getting those little surprise reminders every now and then makes my heart feel likes it’s going to burst. My sisters Liza sent me a beautiful card that I again cried over when I read it and is now on display next to my bed and I read a few times during the day. My mom’s co-workers and friends from work all got together to make me the most amazing gift basket full of fun gag gifts, jewelry, lotions, bath supplies, etc. My sister Katie’s company all got together around Xmas to make a donation to me in order to help cover many of my medical expenses and have really helped ease that burden greatly! And of course there is always the amazing emails, texts, visits and phone calls that I get from people on a daily basis. I knew I was loved and thought of but to this extent is beyond me. I don’t think I will ever be able to thank any of you enough. THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER!!
Today is looking overcast. Boo! And I have to get my shot in an hour. Weeee! But life is going on. The world hasn’t stopped spinning, though at times it feels that way when going through a devastating and difficult time. But I know that in time all the pain from the last few months and years will ease, not completely, but it will ease. And I’m pretty sure it will be in part because of my amazing support system and my own determination and strength.
Love, Love, Love!!
Today is a day for great celebration. Today is a day for everyone to stand up and cheer, yell, holler and scream! Today is my nephew Rowan’s 8th birthday!!
Rowan is my little mush. He is one of the most sensitive and sweetest guys I know. He is first in line when I see him to give me a MASSIVE hug and kiss. He affectionately refers to me as Beautiful Aunt Jamie and has no problem reminding me just how much he loves me.
He is a skater boy, who can kick a mean soccer goal. A jokester who can give a good cuddle. And a kid who tries just about everything once. He’s rough and tumble, flinging himself around doing flips, jumps or even spastic dance moves. He has sparkly blue eyes and the most angelic face, until he unleashes his devilish grin. (Ladies beware!)
Today is a day to celebrate my Ro! I wish I could be there with you bud and you know I would in an instant. You make me smile, you make me laugh and you make my heart swell with boundless amounts of love! I think you are an amazing guy with so many wonderful things in store for you and your future. Your heart is one of the very best things about you and don’t ever forget just how much I love you and your very sweet heart!
Now, I ask you all to give a large shout for Ro! Happy Birthday Rowan! I love you!
Love, Love, Love!
How could I ever forget about you lady? The head Mama!! I wish we lived closer and I wish we saw one another more often. But I cherish each visit, each phone conversation, all the hugs and kisses. Most importantly I cherish YOU!!!
I love you Grandma! Happy Mother’s Day!
Love, Love, Love!
There are so many incredible women in my life who are mothers. From my own mom, my sisters, aunts and cousins. To Bryce’s mom, friends of mine who are moms, to many of my mom’s close friends and co-workers who have become like 2nd mothers to me. Each of these women have impacted my life and today they are celebrated.
But I must pay a special tribute to my own mother. The woman who has braided my hair, cleaned up my skinned knees, kissed away a broken heart and wiped away many tears. She has sat up with me all night rubbing my back while I’ve cried from the pain of chemo, slept on a couch next to me for weeks after my mastectomy, and sat with me for hours while I’ve received my treatment. She’s cheered me on at my soccer games, taken pictures of me during all my school plays and sat front row at each piano recital.
She has taught me how to plant a garden, how to stand up for myself, and drive a stick shift. She’s always put me and my sisters first, loving us unconditionally no matter how much trouble we got ourselves into. My mom has chronicled our lives in countless pictures, stories and memories.
My mom is one of the strongest women I know and one of the most selfless. For months while Tracy was sick in the hospital I watched my mom live day in and day out in her hospital room, always making sure Tracy was never alone and helping Jeff be able to take care of Jason and see his wife. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer during that time I saw how my mom struggled and fought to be there for the both of us. Often times she drove back and forth each day so that neither one of us was ever without her for too long.
My mother loves all 4 of us deeply and fiercely. If any of us are ever in need of her she is there, no questions asked. I’ve been able to get through some of the worst times in my life thanks to my mom. So today I must thank my mom a million times over for all that she has done for me, all the love she has piled on me and all the happiness she has given me.
There is a special place in heaven for the mother of 4 girls.
I love you Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
Love, Love, Love!
Today I had my 2nd round of my new treatment. My dad was my guest today and played his part well. He made sure I had food, snacks, drinks, something to read and a smile on my face. I love my dad.
Today at treatment things were on the more eventful side. First I got the results back from my third and final MUGA scan. A MUGA scan (MUltiple Gated Acquisition scan) is a noninvasive test that produces a moving image of the heart. From this image, the health of the heart’s major pumping chamber (the left ventricle) can be assessed. From the moving imagine that is created, the MUGA scan will give an accurate and reproducible way to measure the ejection fraction of the left ventricle. The left ventricular ejection fraction (LVEF) is an excellent measure of overall cardiac function. The ejection fraction is simply the proportion of blood that is expelled from the ventricle with each heart beat. (Sorry for the Dr talk there). Anyway, Dr’s consider a healthy rate to be between a 50 and a 70. It is basically impossible to get 100. No one gets 100. So if you get a 70 then you can say your heart is perfect. Now sometimes with the chemo Adriamycin, there can be heart related issues so oncologists like to make sure that 1. you have a strong heart and 2. your heart stays strong through treatment. My first MUGA, or the baseline MUGA I got before chemo started, showed that I rated at a 62. Not bad huh? Well After my 2nd one it went up to a 67. This shocked my doctors. Usually a patient’s heart doesn’t just go and get even better while on chemo. Well I had my final one on Tuesday. After my scan the technician took a long time going over my scan again and again. She kept pulling up my old scans and then looking at the new one and shaking her head. This went on for a good 10 min. So needless to say I freaked. I asked if everything was ok and she said it was fine. Right lady! So as soon as I saw my oncologist, Dr. M today, I wanted to know my results. He smiled at me and said, “Jamie you have a perfect heart. You tested at 70.” Yup 70! That means that my heart is in it. My heart is in it to win it and beat the crap out of cancer. My heart is just getting stronger and stronger for this fight because it’s just as determined to give the big F YOU to cancer and have it NEVER come back!!!! Well there’s that and one other thing. I had my first MUGA in Jan, before Tracy passed. The Dr’s always said she had a really strong heart and that’s what kept her fighting and thriving for so long. My 2nd MUGA came 3 weeks after her death. I like to think that Tracy left me a bit of her heart and strength. And lately I’ve been thinking of her and talking to her and asking for her help so I think she just kind of gave me a really big bump and said, “Here brat, you’ve got this.” At least that’s what I think. And I’m sticking to it. Tracy had heart and so do I. But now I’ve got a bit of hers which makes me even stronger. She’s showing me I am strong, tough and that I can and will beat this. I miss her so much.
2nd, my head honcho nurse gave me a gift. The gift of NOT having to do my Neulasta shot this week!!! HOORAY!!! She looked at my counts and said that they are absolutely through the roof so she is allowing me to skip this week to see how I handle it. She said I need to take it easy and continue to eat well and not go crazy with taking on too much and then we’ll see how my counts rebound when I have my blood drawn next week. You have no idea how much this excites me. This means that I won’t be in major bone pain for the next 4 days. This means that I’ll actually be able to enjoy my weekend. This means that I won’t be trying to hide my discomfort while sitting in my job interview on Monday. This is HUGE! This small little gift made my day!
The 3rd treat I got at chemo today was meeting a really nice, funny, and kind young woman who has begun her battle with breast cancer. She too is recently diagnosed and just today she finished her Cytoxan and Adriamycin cocktail. Her next treatments are different then mine because her tumor make-up is different but it too should be less toxic and a bit easier to handle. It was fun to chat with her and swap similar horror stories from the C&A cocktail. Hell it was nice to talk to another young woman going through the battle. She too has a BF and is in the beginning and prime of her life. But she was all smiles, rocking a cool head scarf and cracking jokes. She brought a buzz to the infusion room today. It sucks to have another “sister” in the sorority, but she is a tough lady. So I hope you all add her too your prayer, good vibes, juju lists.
After chemo I headed home to nap and was then surprised by a phone call from my BFFL Faith. Her boyfriend, his son and she were going to be in my area and they wanted to do dinner. So I happily joined them at a little pub on the water where we sat on the dock, eating and enjoying the last of rays the sun had to offer. It was my first time meeting her BF and I think I can stamp my seal of approval on it. His son helped of course. (Just kidding) But really his son is just super cute. Even if they are BoSux Fans!!
The rest of my weekend looks like it’s going to be even better. Tomorrow Bryce and I are meeting our good friends Rick and Val for brunch. Tomorrow is their 10 year wedding anniversary so what better way is there to celebrate then with pancakes and mimosas! (HAPPY 10 YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY RICK AND VAL!!) Afterwards Bryce and I are heading to a horse jumping competition in North Salem. I love horses. I always wished I was a better rider but I am just as content to sit and watch these powerful beats make 6 foot jumps. Let’s hope the rain holds off.
My mom is in IL for Mother’s Day this year so I won’t be celebrating until she gets back but I will be posting for Mother’s day so stayed tuned!
I hope the rest of you have an amazing weekend. Celebrate any and all small successes, events or happy news that should crop up. Life hasn’t stopped and it won’t any time soon. And there is still good out there to be thankful for and to celebrate, even when you feel at your lowest. But you MUST celebrate them or else the pain, the sadness and the darkness will take over and you might forget just what it is you’re fighting for. I don’t know about you but I’m fighting for ME! My life. My future. My happiness!!
Love, Love, Love!!!
So, tomorrow I head back to chemo and I thought I would just fill you in on how the week after my new chemo regiment went. Are you excited to hear all about it? I can imagine. Really, my life is riveting now-a-days.
So as expected chemo was longer with the new treatment. How long you ask? About 6 hours long! Oh yes. 6 lovely hours in the infusion room, napping, reading, chatting, snacking, and staring at walls, ceilings and floors. Then there was the visualization of all my dreams becoming realities. As you can see I made the most of my time hooked up to my IV. Anyway, after chemo I headed home and slept away most of the day until I woke up Saturday late morning. I had my Neulasta shot and then Bryce came to get me so we could go spend time with some very old and dear friends of mine. Liz and Danielle along with their boyfriends were camping at Pound Ridge for the weekend and since I was unable to camp out I wanted to at least visit them and have lunch, hang out, catch up, and show off my bald head. It was so great to be around them. The weather held out for us and we were able to sit outside in the sun, eat and catch up. It felt so good to just kind of be. To just forget about things for a while. The visit was too short of course but Bryce and I had to head out for dinner.
The only down side to the weekend was when the Neulasta shot kicked in Saturday night. Again my bones were on fire while they made tons of white blood cells for me and I was pretty much miserable the rest of the weekend. Bryce was very sweet making sure I was ok and trying to help me get my mind off the pain. I was hoping the pain wouldn’t last nearly as long as it usually does because they lowered my shot dosage since I seem to make tons of WBC but I was still sore up until Tuesday.
The rest of my week has been pretty non-eventful. I watched my niece and nephew for my sister, I finally got caught up on some emails, I was able to visit my friend Zanzia, I booked a “hot date” with my brother in law, Jeff, for NJ In Living Pink and I even got a call back for a job interview. Dear lord it’s about time!! I can’t take the whole sitting around doing nothing thing anymore. So I ask that you all keep your fingers crossed that my interview goes well on Monday and they offer me the job and some obscene amount of money.
Tomorrow I head back to chemo again. WEEEEE! I seemed to have handled the first round pretty well and I hope the trend continues. I also started to get some peach fuzz on my head. I’m hoping that means my hair is starting to grow back but we shall see.
OH! Most importantly, I got a definitive end date for my last day of chemo. August 7th, 2009. Mark it down, circle it in red, and set an alarm in your phone or on your computer for the date. After tomorrow I will have 10 sessions left and on my way to 8/7/09!!!
Love, Love, Love!!!
Jamie's Journey 